At the beginning of the relationship, excitement and romance are your first priority! But what happens when the everyday routine takes its toll and after all of those years together the new circumstances make you wonder about your most important life choice?
In order to revive your slow dying relationship you need to understand what part of the relationship isn’t working anymore.
Marriage guides like “Save my Marriage today” (SaveMyMarriageToday.com) offers a step-by-step course for reviving relationships, but can it truly deliver?
Before reviewing the most popular and known on-line marriage guide (“save my marriage today”), it is better to assess if your relationship needs saving at all or you have just hit a little bump.
Long term relationships (marriages in particular) are like an everlasting path with many obstacles, in which not all couples will survive. We gathered 4 critical crises that almost every couple has to go through and some advices on how to pass them successfully.
Moving in together
One of the biggest steps is moving in together and sharing your home with your partner for the first time.
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This step usually indicates both partners are committed and ready for jumping into the deep water.
Living together may change the picture-perfect relationship perception you’ve held on to in two main areas.
- You may find getting along is harder than you think. Before, you were able to see your partner whenever you want, for as long as you wanted. Now, you will have to see each other also when you less desire to. Also, behaviors and characteristics that you both haven’t known before will be exposed (cleaning habits, financial responsibility etc.) and may cause second thoughts regarding your match.
- Everyday routine may taint the romance and the excitement in the relationship
Passing this stage successfully and building a happy nest together depends on good communication and expectations management.
If the red lines of the relationship will be clear and agreed upon and the most important areas of each partner’s life will be respected and guarded, the couple will get used to the change and make the best of it.
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For further reading about the importance of this step, visit: psychologytoday.com.
Parenting alert
Having a kid is a big change in the family structure. Everything is shaken up – big financial effect, interference from the surrounding circles (especially family), spontaneity almost disappears, attraction may suffer and sleeping suddenly has a huge priority in your life.
The key to maintaining a good intimate relationship is to respect each other’s needs.
The couple should each contribute to the household as much as possible and offer help when possible, in order to keep both parents happy and not overwhelmed.
Also, as much as possible, try not to neglect yourself or your partner; maintain nurturing habits, schedule dates together, go out with friends and support your partner when doing the same.
Midlife crisis
Somewhere along the 40’s the midlife crisis usually pops.
It can be light and pass quickly, or really affect many areas of life. Re-evaluating our life – where we are and where we would have liked to be. Our relationships, along with our career and other aspects of our life are tested.
Now, compared to our 30’s, we may have more strength and spare time to make changes.
If reaching that crisis, it is important to understand the root of your dissatisfaction.
There is a tendency to lay all of life’s problems on your relationship. As this stage is very critical, you need to take the time and deeply understand what needs to change (career, friends’ choice, physical state etc.).
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At most times, a good personal change will have a positive effect on your relationship, especially if you partner is supporting.
The Empty Nest Syndrome
This crisis occurs for couples that weren’t able to nurture and maintain their relationship within their family structure.
When the kids are leaving for their independent life, the lack of intimacy and the emotional distance between the parents draw the attention.
For those couples that haven’t managed to keep the romance and shared interests along the years, it is important to understand that it is not too late to start.
The empty nest feeling be devastating or flourishing. This can be the time when have the time and the ability to re-define the relationship – as boring and drained, or fun and reviving.
For further reading about the empty nest syndrome, visit psychologytoday.com or wikipedia.org.
Reached an obstacle – what to do next?
The most important question that needs to be asked is – do you want to save the marriage and stay together?
If you lost the desire to work on the relationship and want a way out or if any of the partners feel the relationship is destructive or violent – it is probably best to split ways.
If the willingness to make an effort and to be active in order to make the relationship work is still there – there are a few ways to make it happen.
The first and hardest decision is making the relationship your first priority – and sometimes that all it needs!
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Finding the time to be together, trying to be more patient, supportive and romantic, can fire up the relationship again and return to the desired feeling of loving and being loved.
Of course, any outside help, therapists or mentors, relationship workshops and dedicated groups, can be useful. An online guide can be helpful as well – usually more flexible than a ‘face to face’ method, providing the couples tools and treatment strategies to follow in their own household.
SaveMyMarriageToday.com Review
The most popular relationship guide and program for couples reaching a block is ‘Save my Marriage Today’ by Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch. (SaveMyMarriageToday.com).
This guide has good public relations – but as most of the reviews that are available online are sponsored or profit from marketing the guide through affiliate marketing – it is hard to estimate what is the actual value of the program.
Trying to evaluate it, we conducted a thorough research, without any hidden interest or marketing agenda.
The Essence of SaveMyMarriageToday.com
The purpose the program is to rescue your marriage from ending or (even worse) from staying in an unhappy or destructive relationship.
The program intends to help couples who are not maintaining a healthy and positive relationship, by offering a large amount of lessons and exercises (158 pages!) that are supposed to help couples reset their perspective and improve almost every aspect of their relationship.
The program deals with the core elements of any relationship, such as trust and betrayal, passion, maintaining an household, attitude and messages to children while your marriage is in crisis, communication skills etc.
Those crucial topics are all discussed in one of the 20 chapters the guide has to offer. Each chapter is broken down into several sections, which each has its lessons and exercises.
The Authors of Save My Marriage Today
Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch are known writers, focusing on relationships, dating and attractions. The writers are experienced and very successful at issuing guides and online lessons for couples in distress.
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For those who care about their mentor’s background, you might want to take into consideration the fact that the authors do not have the proper education (psychology or counseling, for example).
To the point – Pros and Cons
Pros
- Very comprehensive guide that contains a large amount of information, lessons and exercises.
- Content and exercises is relevant and doable for both male and female. Works best if both are on board, but many parts are for self-improvement that can be done alone.
- Most reviews are positive, even though it is hard to find and objective review (that doesn’t profit from marketing the guide).
When diving into the reviews (and most importantly, comments from actual users) – the reviews were mostly positive and the guide was highly recommended by lovedignity.com and necolebitchie.com).
Cons
- Save My Marriage Today is more expensive compared to similar guides and programs online. Although it offers a full refund if you are unhappy with the product, within 60 days.
- Authors are writers and not professional psychologists or counselors.
- The investment in PR makes you wonder about the quality of the product and the legitimacy of the many reviews it has.
When diving into users comments and discussions, you can find some negative reviews.
SaveMyMarriageToday.com Review Conclusion
Over the year, couples in long lasting relationship would probably run into some obstacles that could jeopardize their marriage.
Sometimes all they need is motivation and attention, and return to the right track will happen swiftly.
After trying that, if it still seems the relationship reached a dead-end, there are many options for getting help.
We reviewed the online guide “Save My Marriage Today,” and the guide seems to be very comprehensive, easy to follow and helpful for many couples.
Although it is not 100% recommended by all users, it has many tools and advice that may come in handy. Also, it has no risk; if it doesn’t do the job you can get a full refund to your money.